Money Broom Wizard
by Mr. Uncreative
Summary: Based on episode of Clarence of the same name. The trio play arcade games with only one token each. Don't like, don't read. Set in AU: American, everyone is nine years old.


_[Our story begins begins with Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking through the woods with Harry holding a stick while Ron is crawling and sniffing on the ground then stops and gasps.]_

 **Ron:** _[stands up and blocks Harry and Hermione's path.]_ Our path is blocked!

 **Harry:** _[approaches a tumbleweed]_ Stand back, guys. Leave this one to the wizard. _Lo siento mi amor-o![Whacks the tumbleweed with the stick several times and slows down and stops]_ That one was just a scout! The other bushes will be looking for him.

 **Hermione:** Why did we have to walk through the woods? There's a sidewalk. _[Looks at side while cars are driving]_

 **Harry:** Fool of an elf! _[Winks while moving his other eye left and right]_ That's exactly what eyeball would expect us to do. Our path may be treacherous, but the Pizza Swamp is _[Moves arm quickly upward]_ worth it!

 **Hermione:** Okay. _[Pretends shooting a bow and arrow twice]_

 _[Shout in distance]_

 _[Kids finally find Pizza Swamp]_

 **Harry:** Here it is - The dreaded Pizza Swamp, _[Pizza Swamp arcade comes into view]_ the most dangerous part of our journey!

 _[The gang goes into Pizza Swamp]_

 **Harry:** Whoa! _[Kids are seen running and playing]_ Look at all these games! Free for the playing.

 _[Many games are shown on-screen. One game says and repeats "Insert Coin!"]_

 **Harry:** Let's go pick out our prizes!

 **Hermione:** _[Laughs]_

 _[Harry and Ron go pick out their prizes]_

 **Hermione:** Wait. Really? Harry, if you pick out your prizes now, you're setting yourself up for dissapoi - _[spots a lazer pointer]_ Oh, my gosh! they have a lazer pointer? That is actually really cool!

 **Harry:** Man, I want that disco ball!

 _[Clank]_

 **Harry:** Really?

 _[Draco plays a dinosaur shooting game. Dinosaurs are screaming]_

 **Draco:** Yeah, it's super-easy. All you have to do is shoot 'em in the mouth. It's not even hard.

 _[Dinosaur comes out of refrigerator and screams]_

 **Game voice:** Game over. Continue?

 **Draco:** What!? Man, these games are _so_ glitchy _[Gives a $20 bill to Goyle, who takes it to a token machine]_ _[Spots Harry and his friends]_ Oh, great. Look. Here comes the dork parade.

 **Harry:** Oh, hey, Draco. How's it going, buddy?

 **Draco:** _[Scoffs]_ Whatever.

 _[Goyle inserts a 20 dollar bill in an exchanger, grabs lots of coins, runs and chuckles]_

 **Ron:** Are we gonna play for tickets or can we play the _fun_ games?

 **Harry:** Oh, Ron. All games will be played _and_ prizes won because I got a fresh $20 dollar bill right in my back pocket.

 _[Ron and Hermione's lip opens.]_

 **Harry:** Right... around... here. _[Clarence grunts, his hand go to his pocket, and it's empty]_ Guys, don't get mad, but I left my money at home.

 **Ron and Hermione:** Aw, Harry.

 **Harry:** Oh. Wait a minute. I forgot about my wizard dollar in my wizard shoe. _[Takes off his shoe and pulls out a $1 dollar bill]_ Gotcha! _[Harry inserts the $1 dollar bill and gets 4 coins]_ Okay, one for the elfling. _[Gives a coin to Hermione]_ One for the gnome. _[Gives a coin to Ron]_ And one for the wizard. _[Hands flips around up]_ And... I guess we don't need this one. _[Throws a coin]_

 **Hermione:** _[Gasps.]_ Harry, no!

 _[Kids screaming and giggling to get a coin.]_

 **Ron:** Well, if we only get one game, I'm gonna make it count.

 **Harry:** That's the right spirit. I hereby command that, even though we only have one token each, we will have the greatest day in all of the pizza swamp!

 **Draco** : _[Chortling]_ Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah, no, I'm sure you will. _[Laughs]_

 **Harry** : Okay, guys, let's split up.

 _[Donk!; Harry butts Ron's head]_

 **Hermione** : No, no, Harry. No.

 _[Donk!; does the same to Hermione]_

 _[Harry and Ron run away]_

 **Hermione:** Ow. Okay, okay. There's got to be a game here that I can get to pay out with just one token.

 _[Memo watches Emilio play a game called "Plumb Crazy"]_

 **Plumb Crazy Arcade** : Plumb harder! _[Toilet flushes]_ You're not very good at this.

 **Hermione** : No.

 _[Boy plays a game called "Big Betty"]_

 **Little Boy's Mother** : Go on, sweetheart. Feed Big Betty.

 **Little Boy** : No!

 **Hermione:** Mm...

 **Money Broom Arcade:** _[Distorted]_ Money Broom.

 **Hermione:** That one might actually work. If I could get the coin to land on just the right spot, just... right...

 _[Clanking]_

 **Harry:** Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe. Where it stop, nobody knows.

 _[Harry puts the coin on the Money Broom. He fails]_

 **Money Broom Arcade:** _[Distorted]_ Money Broom.

 **Harry:** Well, that was kind of fun.

 **Hermione:** Wh- Ha-Harry, no! You can't just _play_ "Money Broom." You have to know how to beat the system.

 **Harry:** It's okay. It was worth it.

 **Hermione:** No. I'll win it back. I'll win them _all_ back.

 **Harry:** Okay. I'm gonna go eat that pizza crust. _[Runs away to the pizza crust; eats pizza crust]_ Mmm. Savory.

 _[Harry walks until he finds a table with some food left from a birthday]_

 _[Pop!]_

 _[He eats some chocolate cake, then sees a birthday hat and gasps]_

 **Harry:** _[High-pitched]_ Wizard hat. _[Puts on the birthday hat]_ Ploop.

 _[Scene cuts to Ron looking up for a game to play. He stops and watches a preview of a game about Keith Mack called "Iron Tiger"]_

 **Keith Mack:** Hey, this is Keith Mack, bass player for Iron Tiger. If you're watching this, our band's already been kidnapped. You're the only one who can save us!

 **Ron:** _[Gasps]_

 **Iron Tiger Arcade:** Insert coin. Insert coin. Insert coin. Insert coin.

 _[Sumo goes away]_

 _[We go to Harry running and having fun on the arcade; he runs]_

 **Harry:** _[Laughing]_

 _[Harry pretends to be playing a dance game without paying]_

 **Harry:** _[Humming]_

 _[Collin watches Harry]_

 _[Harry pretends to be playing a race game without paying]_

 **Harry:** _[Imitating car noises]_ Out of my way! _[Imitates explosion]_ Oh, crashing! _[Runs around some games]_ _[Panting]_ Come on! Come on, everybody! Who's gonna catch me? _[Panting]_ _[Approaches a kid seeing a claw machine]_ What one are you looking at?

 **Kid:** I want that finger trap, but the claw keeps dropping it.

 **Harry:** That claw _always_ does that. It just always drops it. Sometimes, you just got to use your own hands. Why don't you just reach in there and grab it?

 _[Scraping]_

 _[Kid tries to grab the finger trap using his hands, but he can't because his hands are too big]_

 **Kid:** My hands are too big.

 **Harry:** Here. Let my try.

 _[Harry puts his hands on the claw machine and grabs the finger trap]_

 _[Stretch! Snap!]_

 _[Harry puts his hands off the claw machine and gives the finger trap to the kid]_

 **Kid:** Thanks.

 **Harry:** Don't worry about it. Just your friendly neighborhood wizard.

 _[Harry runs away doing strange sounds with his feet]_

 _[Scene cuts to Ron walking in the halls, searching for a game to play]_

 **Arcade 1:** Help us! We're trapped!

 **Ron:** Huh?

 **Arcade 2:** Feed me! I'm hungry!

 **Arcade 3:** Hey, you! You're the next big winner!

 **Ron:** _[Gasps]_

 _[Game beeping, voices distort]_

 _[Ron approaches a game at the end of the hall which has a really big machine]_

 _[Beeping]_

 _[Shing!]_

 **Ron:** Aah. Ahhh.

 _[Suction]_

 _[Ron inserts his coin]_

 _[The game gives Ron the real-life stuff for that game]_

 _[Plonk!]_

 **Ron:** Wha-

 _[Whirring]_

 **Game:** _[Japanese accent]_ Ready. Set... Go!

 _[Dance music playing]_

 **Game:** Faster. Faster!

 _[Scene cuts to the "Asian Boy" playing whack the seal]_

 **Asian Boy:** _[Grunts]_ Dang it! _[Grunts]_ Dang it! _[Grunts]_ Dang it! Dang it!

 **Game:** Great job, clubber. Collect your blubber.

 _[Whirring]_

 _[One ticket comes from the game]_

 **Asian Boy:** Dang it! _[Grabs another coin]_

 **Harry:** Hey, you want to know a trick? Just use your hands.

 **Asian Boy:** Really? _[Inserts coin]_

 _[Beep]_

 **Harry:** Ready?

 **Asian Boy:** Mm-hmm.

 _[Harry and the Asian Boy start hitting the seals that come from the machine]_

 _[Seal barks]_

 _[Seal barks]_

 _[Seal barks twice]_

 **Asian Boy:** Whoa.

 _[Seal barks twice]_

 _[Seal barks twice]_

 _[Seal barks]_

 _[Seal barks]_

 _[Harry couldn't hit one of the seals, so he grabs it]_

 **Harry:** Oh, no, you don't! _[Hits the seal several times]_

 _[Seal barking rapidly]_

 _[Whirring]_

 _[A lot of tickets come from the machine]_

 _[Motor sputters]_

 _[Distorted seal bark]_

 _[Crack, sizzle]_

 **Harry:** That'll teach him.

 **Asian Boy:** _[Grabs the tickets]_ Thank you. _[Realizes Harry is gone]_

 _[Scene cuts to Draco and his team preparing to play laser tag]_

 **Draco:** _[Grunts]_ You're gonna find out why my friends call me "The Laser Ghost."

 **Crabbe:** We don't call you that.

 **Harry:** Oh, cool. Can I play with you guys?

 **Draco:** _[Scoffs]_ Yeah, if you want to get blasted by the laser ghost.

 **Harry:** Ooh. yes, please.

 **Blaise:** It costs 8 bucks.

 **Harry:** Oh. I don't have that many dollars.

 **Draco:** _[Scoffs]_ Sucks to be you. Come on. Let's go.

 _[Draco and his team enter laser tag]_

 **Harry:** Oh, all right, then. I'll just... eat some more pizza crusts.

 _[Harry goes to the birthday table and eats pizza crusts]_

 _[Munch!]_

 **Harry:** Savory. Actually, that's not bad. _[Keeps eating pizza crusts]_

 _[Munch! Munch! Munch!]_

 _[Clarence drinks soda pop]_

 _[Glug! Glug! Glug! Glug!]_

 _[Harry falls to the floor]_

 _[Thud!]_

 _[Scene cuts to Hermione studying the Money Broom arcade]_

 _[Some numbers are shown in the screen]_

 **Hermione:** _[Thinking]_ _Okay, hmm. Got to crack this code. Carry the 2. Oh, watch the 1._

 _[Numbers disappear]_

 **Hermione:** I got it! _[Gasps. Hides behind another game, waiting for someone else to play first]_

 _[Collin walks ignoring the Money Broom game]_

 **Hermione:** Come on.

 _[Anthony walks ignoring the Money Broom game]_

 **Hermione:** _[Groans]_ Dang it! Just one more play.

 _[Lavender is about to play Money Broom, but she changes her mind and walks away]_

 **Hermione:** Dang it.

 _[Anyway, Lavender stops and plays Money Broom one time, and loses]_

 **Hermione:** Yes. Come on, baby.

 _[Music plays]_

 **Money Broom Arcade:** _[Distorted]_ Money Broom.

 _[Lavender walks away]_

 **Hermione:** Yes. That's the eight person. So, if it puts out every nine times, that means that the next quarter's got to be a winner!

 _[Lavender stops and grabs a coin she finds on the floor]_

 _[Before Hermione can put her coin in the game, Lavender cuts in front of her]_

 **Hermione:** _[Groans]_

 _[Lavender puts her coin in the game and wins a lot of tickets]_

 **Money Broom Arcade:** Winner, winner, winner!

 **Lavender:** _[Squeals]_

 **Hermione:** Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, n-o-o-o!

 _[We go to Harry trying to help Anthony in a bowling game]_

 _[Harry hits the glass above the balls for the game]_

 **Harry:** See, the trick with this one is, you just got to use your wizard... hand. Hmm. Wizard hands don't work on this one. _[Looks everywhere]_ Hmm. Ah. Wizard basketball! _[Grabs a ball from a basketball game]_ _[Grunts]_ _[Gets back to the game Guyler was trying to play]_ Daddy needs a new disco ball. _[Kisses the ball]_ _[Grunts]_ _[Throws the ball and hits the game]_

 _[Whoosh!]_

 _[The ball hits the glasses kid]_

 **Glasses Kid:** Ow!

 _[Scene cuts to Hermione counting the coins on the Money Broom]_

 **Hermione:** 17, 18, 19, 20, 21...

 _[The ball hits the Money Broom]_

 **Hermione:** Unh!

 _[she falls]_

 **Hermione:** Oh?

 _[A lot of tickets come from the game]_

 **Money Broom Arcade:** Winner, winner, winner!

 **Hermione:** I did it! I beat the house!

 **Harry:** _[Panting]_ Hermione, we're rich! We're rich! _[Grabs some tickets]_ We can have anything that we want!

 _[Scene cuts to them on the prizes section]_

 **Harry:** Disco ball, please.

 _[The Prizes girl gives Harry a disco ball]_

 **Hermione:** I'll have the laser pointer.

 _[The Prizes girl gives Hermione a laser pointer]_

 **Harry:** Finally, finger disco. _[Turns on the disco ball and pretends his fingers are dancing]_ _[Vocalizing]_

 _[Hermione turns on her laser pointer, but he can't see it because it's too bright there]_

 **Harry:** How's your laser?

 **Hermione:** It - it's too bright in here. You can't really see it.

 **Harry:** Well, let's try in there, where it's dark. _[he points the entrance of Laser Tag]_

 **Hermione:** Okay.

 _[They enter Laser Tag]_

 **Hermione:** _[Turns on the laser pointer]_ Oh, yeah. This works great in the dark.

 **Harry:** Whoa! Look at this place! It's - it's so beautiful!

 _[Draco shoots Goyle with his laser gun]_

 **Goyle:** No! I'm already dead! Ow!

 **Draco:** _[Chuckles evilly]_ _[Notices Harry and Hermione]_ Hey! Hey, how did those guys get in here? Hey, get out of here! You don't even have vests on!

 **Harry:** Hey, Draco. Look what I got.

 _[While Hermione is pointing the laser pointer nowhere, Harry hands up with his disco ball and a lot of lasers come from the ball, which just hit everyone in there]_

 **Goyle:** Aaaaaah!

 **Blaise:** Aah-gl-gl-gl!

 **Crabbe:** _[Gasps]_ _[Falls off the stairs]_ Unh! Unh! Unh! Unh!

 **Draco:** No. No! N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

 **Harry:** Wizard ball.

 **Unseen Man:** _[Echoing]_ Congratulations, space cadet. I'm promoting you to cosmic commander.

 _[A picture of Harry with the disco ball full of lasers is shown in one of the game's screens]_

 **Harry:** Oh, cool. That's me.

 **Draco:** What?! They're not even playing!

 _[Afterwards, Harry and Hermione walking in the arcade, Harry hits his "cosmic commander" thing in his shirt with the disco ball"]_

 _[Clinking]_

 **Harry:** I think this thing is real silver.

 _[Scene cuts to Blaise, Crabbe, and Draco eating pizza. Draco is mad]_

 **Crabbe:** Nice job, "Laser Ghost."

 **Blaise:** _[Laughs]_

 **Draco:** Shut up.

 **Crabbe:** What? I thought you liked being called that.

 **Blaise:** _[Laughs]_

 **Draco:** _[Groans]_

 _[Scene cuts back to Harry and Hermione. Both stop]_

 **Hermione:** I have to say, I'm pretty surprised we got this far with just one dollar.

 **Harry:** Unh-unh-unh. Not just _any_ dollar. It was a _wizard_ dollar.

 **Hermione:** Whatever.

 **Harry:** Come along, Ronald. Our work here is done.

 **Ron:** _[Dressed as the game he played with sparks shooting from the wires]_ Yes, master Harry.

 _[Ron and Hermione leave,Harry turns around]_

 **Harry:** Bye, Pizza Swamp.

 _[A full view of the Pizza Swamp inside is seen]_

 **Harry:** _[Smooches, blows]_ _[Leaves the arcade]_


End file.
